UPA report card

Following the UPA-II Report Card after four years in scam school:

Maths: A+

Excellent performance as the magic number 0 (zero) was rediscovered by Kapil Sibal. Aryabhtta might have discovered it originally, but he only discovered it, while Sibal applied it in real life.

Languages : A+

Another excellent performance, especially due to brilliant performance by two pupils : Punjabi boy Ashwini Kumar, who corrected spellings and grammatical mistakes in CBI report (unfortunately, this Faking News 2.0 report has not been checked by him) and Mallu boy Shashi Tharoor, whose English skills are appreciated by everyone on Twitter.

Science : B-

Average performance. Only one student could do well : OBC boy Sam Pitroda. Grades could have been worse if Pitroda had not orgtanized Google Hangouts, because the other scientific discovery – Aakash Tablet – couldn’t get decent grades.

Social Studies : F

Failed. In fact, there were negative marks in social study due to handling of protests over Delhi gangrape, Corruption, etc.

General comments by teachers:

*Rahul’s presence in the parliament  class was very pleasurable. Taare Zameen Par level.

*Need to raise standards. Salman (Khurshid) and Pawan (Bansal) were happy with very low marks in scam exam.

*Need more attendance in class. Many students prefer to spend time in playground at 10 Janpath.

*Boy named Digvijay Singh keeps shouting in the class.

*Boys named Deora, Tiwari, Scindia are still happy in nursery. Tell them to aim higher.

*Naughty boys Kalamadi, Raja and a girl Kanimozi have been left alone. Please take care of them.

Special skill-development vacation camps needed for:

- Writing of resignation letters

- Playing CBI-CBI Hide-&-Seek

- Nephew management

Overall percentage : 42.0 %

Rank : 123

 Parents’ signature : ________________________ (in Italian)